Reinvention

Reinvention. Ah, just the word conjures up day spas, mani/pedis and a spiffy new hair "do". Or, if you are Madonna or Lady Gaga, it means you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars so that people won't recognize you at all. (Admittedly, there is something appealing about no one knowing who you are...) But reinvention should involve more than superficial camouflagey type of changes.

Yesterday afternoon, on my way out of Ralphs with the usual basket of milk, toilet paper and bananas, I got my hot little hands on the latest issue of "More" magazine. In this publication geared towards women over for-tay, the editor-in-chief, Lesley Jane Seymour (cool name, eh? my Brit history fans out there) discusses reinvention and how she is incorporating small changes into her own life. The picture of Ms. Seymour shows an extremely attractive woman with gorgeous carmel colored hair, wrinkle-free skin and toned arms. Yet she says in her editor's letter that "Although much of this reinvention thing is inspiring and motivating, sometimes other people's accomplishments make me feel like a loser." Say what?

Naturally, my twisted mind thinks that if lovely, ultra-successful, New York lady Lesley can feel like a loser, than where does that lead the rest of us with our humble lives? Is it me, or has our drive to achieve taken us to these crazy mindsets that we can never do enough to feel like winners?

I am at once sympathetic and appalled at Ms. Seymour's statement. Why? First and foremost, I believe women are too hard on themselves. Since we have been "liberated" it has led to the assumption that we have to be super human in order to be accomplished. The desire to have a WOW factor career, raise healthy, well-adjusted children and maintain balance in one's personal life has led to achievement overload. Meanwhile, our homes have to be creatively decorated and we have to bake yummilicious brownies -- with our make up and high heels on!

Yes, women took off their girdles and bras in the 1960s, but I think they exchanged these restrictive harnesses for invisible chastity belts that restricted their deepest sense of personal freedom. We had to "be something" to "be worthy."

More and more I aim to do less and less, and feel better for it. I have reinvented my priorities and redefined personal achievement. I, too, used to have big career dreams so I know the power of that drive. I also know what it feels like to have to stick your kid in a camp they absolutely hate just because you have to be at work every winter and summer vacation. Or when your kid is still sick with a fever and your boss is pissed off because you haven't come in to work for two days. Just ask my son...and his therapist. I hit a point in my life where I said, "No more!"

The best reinvention is of the heart and spirit kind. We all want to look good (or be unrecognizable -- I definitely want to try that!) Ironically, in this same issue of "More" there is an article about three women, all former beauty magazine editors from Manhattan, who moved to other cities (Miami, Los Angeles and Boulder) and detoxed from the pressures of having big careers and heavy duty beauty routines. They are all gorgeously relaxed with their reinvented, simplified lifestyles. They let go of ideals of perfection and super achievement and are much happier.

Thoreau said in Walden's Pond, "Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!" Of course he was a single guy sittin' at the edge of a pond with nothing to do, but he had the right idea. Ah, yes, reinvention...perhaps I'll go blonde.