One of my favorite pictures from childhood shows me at the Thanksgiving table with my dad about to carve the fresh-from-the-oven turkey. My dad is smiling, and I'm leaning over the table in anticipation of the feeding frenzy. My brother is there, too, but his face is cut in half by the photographer (my mom). The picture captures the nostalgic innocence of days gone by. (I also love the 1970s wallpaper in the background!)
Thanksgiving has now become the breath of fresh air sandwiched in between the insanity of Halloween and the onslaught of the holiday season. We all know by now that Christmas decorations are displayed the first week of November! Just the other day I went to Target in search of cute Turkey themed napkins and cups for my daughter's class party. Christmas was everywhere. I had to ask a store worker where the Thanksgiving stuff was; as it turns out, the only Thanksgiving goods were in the back of an out of the way aisle. Gee Whiz!
I must confess, however, that for several years I used to dread Thanksgiving. When I was in my early 30s I had a falling out with my dad (we had a problematic relationship to begin with), and so whenever Thanksgiving rolled around, I felt an undeniable pang of guilt and sadness because we weren't together. And Thanksgiving used to be his favorite holiday. Dad loved being at the head of the table and carving the bird for the family. He felt important.
I know I am not alone. Although everyone loves to eat into oblivion on turkey day, many people have admitted to me that family squabbles always lend an air of drama to the holiday. Who is angry with whom colors the conversation and puts a damper on the big day. Or, there are those people who have lost a loved one and miss them, or even those people who are alone. Holidays are often not the perfect postcard events we dream of.
The other day, in fact, I was watching the news and there was a report that many soup kitchens are short on turkeys for those people in need. Many people could be without a turkey dinner. Suddenly, I felt a deep gratitude for the simple fact that I could afford a turkey dinner with my family. How simple is that? Just to be grateful for food on the table! Back to the basics.
Both of my parents have passed away and now I spend Thanksgiving with my husband's family in Palm Springs. There will be some family drama, I know. :-) However, it is my intention to enjoy the day, eat a lot, take a long walk to help digest my food, and be grateful for making it through a physically challenging year in one piece! We all have obstacles in our lives, and just to take a day to say "thank you" for being alive can't hurt a bit.
The mantle over my fireplace is filled with arts and crafts that both my children have made over the years. My son's paper bag turkey with tattered tail feathers that he made in second grade (over 12 years ago!) is alongside my daughter's pilgrim hat from kindergarten (two years ago). I love the fact that I don't need to buy Thanksgiving decorations...my kids have made them all, and with love! Perhaps I'm recapturing the innocence of that long ago photograph of me and my dad through my own children. And why not?
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
