Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Just Say...Yes!

Lately there is a theme running throughout my own life: too much to do and too little time to do it. This same theme resonates with many, if not most, of my friends as well. Talking with people I see the same pattern of behavior, we take on too many committments and then become completely overwhelmed, frustrated and angry. The next thing we know we have reached the final frontier -- exhaustion. The sad thing is we do all this running around and voluteering for the sake of others and we pay the biggest price.

The reason why this vicious cycle happens is easy to pinpoint: women are nice nerds.

Niceness, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) is ingrained in the female psyche from the earliest age. We hear from our parents, "now be a good girl and listen to your teacher...be nice, and do what you're told..." The nicer we are, the more obedient we are. The nicer we are, the more people will like us. The nicer we are, the more trinkets we get. This is all well and good when we are little and we have to survive both our dysfunctional home lives and the educational system intact. However, this "nice" mentality starts to backfire as we get older because the stakes are higher. No longer are we trying to please only our parents or our teachers, but we are trying to please EVERYBODY ON EARTH! We want to please the kids, husband, pets, parents, boss, siblings, friends, pets of friends, PTA people, teachers, long lost cousins, Aunt Mable, church, synagogue, weird neighbors, etc. To infinity and beyond!

We are talking about nice to the nth degree.

That is why I say, "Just Say Yes!"

Wait a minute, Cheryl. You have often said to your friends to "Just Say No." (Remember Nancy Regan in her ultra expensive red designer suit telling ghetto kids to "Just Say No" to drugs? Whether the slogan worked or not, it was catchy...) I've decided to pull a fast one and turn that phrase on its head.

I say, "Just Say Yes" to yourself! Give yourself time to just be. Give yourself the luxury of having a few hours to do NOTHING for anyone! I know that for some who are extreme do-gooders, this will be like weaning a drug addict off of crack. So go into nice rehab and say "yes" to that magical elixir known as free time. But just one warning: when you put yourself first, no one will tell you that you are nice or wonderful or the best mom, wife, or whatever. You will just have to quietly pat yourself on the back and relax.

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