Vision Boards Revisited

Without a doubt, the blogs I have written about vision boards are the most popular and the most visited. That is not surprising, considering most of us have a "vision" (whether it is expressed or not) of what we want to manifest in our future. It's what "The Secret" was about -- visualizing what you want.

Looking at my most recent vision board created in January 2011, I am seeing that at least two of my visions have become a reality, or nearly so, at any rate. The first one is a desk. I clipped a photo of a pretty little desk by a window. I had not had my own desk to write on since college and I thought it would be nice to have one. I "put it out to the universe" to provide me with a desk and then completely forgot about it.

Lo and behold, one morning, sometime over the summer, my husband comes running into the house with the news that my neighbor was selling her old desk. My husband thought it would be the perfect size for a little nook in our bedroom beside a window. Sure enough, I ran over to my neighbor's house and fell in love with a cute little desk that her father had made for her years ago. A couple of coats of paint later, the desk, where I am sitting now, has a lovely, sunny spot by my window and is one of my favorite places to write and think. Shabby chic!

I also have a picture of a woman standing by the Grand Canyon on this year's vision board. I had been to the GC many years ago (in 1983, after I graduated college, to be exact). During that first visit long ago, it was late winter and a very blustery day in the canyon. In fact, where we were staying in Flagstaff, AZ, was knee deep in snow!

Again, I clipped the picture of the woman standing on the colorful rim of the GC, smacked it on my vision board in January and forgot about it. About a month or two ago, my husband and I were thinking about where to go for spring break next year. Voila! After brainstorming and using the process of elimination (i.e. what could we afford, what would be fairly easy with an eight year old in tow), the Grand Canyon was our top choice. Promptly I made reservations -- and a few of our top choices to stay were already filling up for that same time. But we got into one. So next spring we plan on visiting the grandest of canyons as well as Sedona, Arizona.

I can see that my concrete pictures are giving me more of what I want than abstract ideas. For instance, my dream of dreams is to earn a living through creative writing, and I have phrases like "Mind Over Money" scattered around my vision board. (My few published poems have earned me zero dollars. LOL!) Though I am earning more now from my substitute teaching than in previous years, to say I have made a living by being creative is simply not happening...right now, at least. I need to find a better picture to represent that dream -- say a woman rolling in dough (the green kind, not the cookie kind) as she sits blissfully at a computer...I must state, too, that we have to work at making our dreams come true. I love that famous line "luck is preparedness meeting opportunity." That's why I'm taking more time to write these days. I can't make excuses forever!

The year is not over, yet, and who knows? My advice, though, is to find pictures that are as clearly representative of what you want as possible. As I mentioned to my friends on Face Book, one of my new goals is to visit Rome, Italy and see the locations from the glorious film, "Roman Holiday." (Did you guys think I was kidding? Well, I am totally serious!) I have been to London and Paris, but never Italy. I will definitely scout magazines for a picture of a woman by the Trevi fountain for 2012! (I should mention that a few years ago a dear high school friend of mine was in Rome and threw a coin in the Trevi Fountain "with your name on it," as he wrote to me. I have never fogotten his kind gesture; I hope to see "my" coin in the not so far future!Thanks PK!)

I once read of a prominent woman writer who wanted to live in New York City. She was living on a less than modest income in the Midwest at the time. What did she do? She clipped pictures of the Big Apple, started eating bagels for breakfast (I kid you not!) and listened to Broadway musicals. All the while, writing and working hard to make connections in her dream city. Within a year of her New York City sensory overload, she was living in...drum roll, please...NYC. She described her move as no less than miraculous as the perfect opportunity to live in NYC presented itself to her. Not only did she use pictures, but also she used her taste buds and ears to manifest her dream.

I hope my cappuccino this morning brings me one step closer to Rome...Now, where did I put that Pavarotti CD?

P.S. If you have had success with a vision board, please leave me a comment. I would love to hear from my readers! Ciao!

The Secret Garden

Women need their own secret garden.

Lately I have been stressed out. A little more than usual. The reason is simple, and part of every woman's daily existence: too much to do and too little time to do it. Recently, there was a story on the national news about how the average woman is considered to be more stressed out than an air traffic controller! Juggling family, career, chores, and just the routines of life have made women...have made me...crazy. Usually, I am pretty good about not over scheduling myself. Oh well.

Just the other night, in fact, I couldn't sleep because I had so many "to dos" on my list. Tossing and turning the night away, I finally took some deep breaths and gave myself a mini wake up call: my worries are not life or death. How much I volunteer at my daughter's school, or the hour I need to go to the dentist, or how much money I earn by working part time, are not major life issues. I made myself take a long, hard, look however, at how I can find time to not only unwind and relax, but also how I can use my time wisely to fulfill some important goals. I truly believe that Time -- with a capital T -- is life's greatest luxury.

I have been thinking a lot about a whole genre of books relating to the woman's journey and how to emulate that experience at home. Books like Eat Pray Love or Without Reservations chronicle the woman's sojourn into foreign lands in search of adventure and self. It's a truth that when we are at home, with all of our "musts" and "to dos" we can get easily side tracked as to what is important to us. Our core beliefs get pushed aside because we have to clean bathrooms, wash dishes, cook dinner and fold a ton of laundry. Aside from seeing wonderful sites, quality travel gives us Time to think about our lives. Who doesn't long for that life altering epiphany while strolling under the chestnut trees that line the Champs Elysees or floating on a Venetian gondola?

I wish I could take a month or two to walk down ancient cobble-stoned streets so that I could once again hear that small inner voice that leads to my deepest heartfelt goals and desires. But alas, now is not the right time for me to take such a trip. Nor is it feasible for the majority of women. That's why I love to read about other women's travels! (Now on my to read shelf is All Over the Map about a divorced woman (Laura Fraser, a travel writer) who gets over a romance gone sour by visiting Argentina, Peru, Naples and Paris.)

The common denominator for these women, as you might guess, is that none of them has...drum roll please...little children.

Where does that leave us ladies with small children in tow? I think the answer lies in our own backyard, literally. If nothing else, every woman should have a "secret" garden where she spends some reflective time as often as humanely possible. After my sleepless night last week, I gave myself license to sit in my backyard the next day while my daughter was at school. I set up a nice table cloth and made myself a cup of coffee. I just sat, breathed deeply, and listened to the wind. I watched the birds, squirrels, and lizards. Without spending a dime, I let time pass without feeling I had to "do" anything or help anyone. It was a precious, selfish hour well spent!

If you don't have a garden, find a patio, or a nearby park with a little bench. In Europe parks are everywhere, some expansive, others are just itsy bitsy square patches of grass with benches. Yesterday, I saw a story about the Berkeley Hotel in Knightsbridge, London that has a secret garden on its rooftop spa. (See picture.) It has a topiary, lavender, and birch trees. The promotional picture also shows a well-stocked picnic basket. I also love how they have a pheasant sculpture and a pretend peacock. This garden doesn't take itself too seriously!

The hotel's garden has a rustic British countryside feel. It doesn't seem to me that it would be hard to recreate those elements in a typical Santa Clarita backyard. All we need is a little inspiration.

It's not a trip to Europe, but it is a start to create a small space to retire to with a book and a glass of wine. A place to daydream as well as live in the moment. For me, my garden is my pretend European vacation.

Thank goodness I have a vivid imagination! Bon Voyage!

It's Hot

It is quite a challenge to cool off these days.

Maybe because it has been nearly (or over) 100 degrees for the past, umm, four weeks?
How do we survive in a civilized manner in this heat?

The best solution I can offer anyone is to slow down. I think slowing down has been my answer of choice for just about all of life's dilemmas, but it definitely works now. This is the time to catch up on reading, sip iced tea, and make a list of some indoor museums you might like to visit in the very near future...say tomorrow. Many ladies I know love scrapbooking. I can't think of a better time to work on a scrapbook than when it is searingly hot outside.

Hey, that is why I am writing right now. My son and daughter are home from school and they are watching a movie. I have been totally remiss in writing my blog these past few months (no excuses) and find that staying indoors is the only option for me. Besides, it's a health concern, too. Especially for little ones, who are prone to suffer from heat exhaustion.

Now the drink of choice in our house during a heat wave is iced tea. A friend and I are partial to the Southern Blend iced tea at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. It has a hint of rose in it, and I'll admit, drinking tea and roses is very appealing to me! My friend loves the teeny tiny ice cubes that the tea comes in. At home, however, I take basic black tea (two bags), add about two tablespoons of raw sugar, enough hot water to fill up a standard glass pitcher, stir, let the tea steep for 20 minutes, remove the tea bags, and then chill. Sometimes I'll switch it up and use Stash's "Moroccan Mint" -- it's a green tea. Very easy, cost effective and tasty. My husband swears by my iced tea over anything bought at Starbucks or Coffee Bean. We also have mint in our backyard, so if I'm feeling really swanky that day, I will add a few sprigs of fresh mint to the mix.

I think adding a sprig of mint adds to the aesthetic value of iced tea, as well. A pretty glass of iced tea while reading a classic novel is a great way to spend an afternoon. Currently, I am reading To Kill A Mockingbird. I have never lived in the south, but those people I know who have tell me the summer humidity is unbearable. I worked with several people from Louisiana many years ago, and the one thing they told me over and over again was that Southerners know how to slow down when it's hot outside. They have no choice. I think slowing down is almost an art form.

Don't ask me why, but along with making a pitcher of iced tea today, I also cooked up a batch of split pea soup. Oh well, I guess I figure that soup can be comfort food in any weather!

Stay cool!

Just Walk Around

Ahhh. Summer. I am so happy to have more TIME to relax and enjoy the great outdoors. Like the mall, for instance.

Today I had a little free time to kill while my daughter was at day camp. Walking leisurely through the outdoor mall near my home, I happened to hear a young man (probably about 10 or 11 years old) say to his mom, "What are we going to do the rest of the time, just walk around?" Clearly, through the young man's perturbed intonation, the prospect of "just" walking around was not a good one.

I started to think about how much I love to just walk around. I also think it's important for young people, especially, (who are often in front of computers, TVs, or at planned activities) to take some time and just meander once in awhile. Have no set plan or destination. Just walk and see what you might find. Even here in Valencia, California, the epitome of suburbia, there are great sights to behold (some of the time, anyway).

Last week, for instance, while walking to pick up my daughter from school, I saw the most adorable baby hawk. His feathers were soft, fluffy and white; he almost looked like an owl. He was standing on a wall at eye level, close enough to touch. His nest, however, was tucked in between two big branches high in a tree. At my daughter's school, I told some others about the hawklet (is there such a word? I don't know, but I like it), so a bunch of us went to see the baby. Sure enough, the cute little guy was still there, although a bit scared at all the human attention he was receiving.

That same night, I took yet another walk to the park with my family. The setting sun was particularly large that evening and made a beautiful red and orange light show for us. I was greatly rewarded that day for my walking efforts.

When I was child, my parents loved to "window shop" along Beverly Boulevard in West Hollywood. Beverly Blvd. had elegant furniture stores in those days,and on Sundays we would be the only ones on the street. We would gaze in the windows and imagine how lovely this or that sofa would look in our humble apartment. All the stores were closed. The street was quiet, and kind of lonely, but now that I look back, it was pretty special to be walking around with my parents for no other reason than to appreciate nice things. We couldn't afford anything in those snazzy windows, but that didn't matter. The best part was that after we walked around for an hour or two, we would get hungry and go out to eat.

If working up an appetite isn't reason enough to walk around for the sake of it, than nothing is!

A friend of mine is going to New York City for the first time this summer. She asked me for suggestions on what to do. I said, after screaming in excitement when I first heard the news, that she should spend a lot of time "just walking." Just walking in Central Park or along Fifth Avenue could be the highlight of any trip to NYC! The same can be said for Europe. What I wouldn't give to "just walk" around London or Paris or Florence!

What I like about walking, really, is that it uses all the senses (even taste, if you are walking to get food). You have to be aware of your surroundings. You have to look right and look left. You have to listen. If there is a blossoming rose, then you have to smell it. Some flowers and plants are meant to be touched (others, not, especially if you are walking in the desert!). Perhaps it is a primal activity that hearkens back to our caveman/cave woman days when we had to forage for food. With so many modern conveniences at our disposal, having to be aware of our surroundings keeps our survival mode intact.

It's summer. Time to put on your comfortable sandals and just walk. Even if it means window shopping for furniture or clothes.

In the Moment

This morning I watched an elderly couple eat breakfast. Wow! Things are really exciting in Cheryl's life, you might say! Snore city. But wait...

I watched them "live in the moment," so to speak. I was alone at my favorite local hangout, The Corner Bakery, eating my old-fashioned oatmeal with toast and coffee. All around me were people coming and going, talking, chewing and hurrying about. A few tables down, however, this couple sat calmly enjoying their breakfast (also oatmeal -- we are kindred spirits in the oatmeal department). The woman, well-groomed and tiny, often set her spoon down in between bites. Several people ate their much larger breakfasts and left the restaurant in the time it took these two seniors to finish their food.

It is a well known fact that not only do people eat less when they eat slowly, but they also enjoy what they eat more. "Savor" is the word I'm looking for. But it is not just about food. Too often we rush through life and forget to savor the moment. Admittedly, I am terribly guilty of this misdemeanor, as I rush from one appointment to another. I try not to overbook my day, and leave gaps between my plans, but often my best intentions run amok. Case in point: I love to write, but these past few months have been so incredibly hectic, I haven't allowed myself the time to sit down and scribble a bit. When I haven't been busy working, volunteering, shopping, house cleaning, or spending time with my family, I have been too tired to do anything but open my book of Sudoku and veg out.

Another confession: often when I am alone all I can think about is the future -- all the things I want to do (write a book), the places I want to visit (you name it), the furniture I want to buy (a sofa and a hutch). Quite honestly, I forget to notice how nice a day it is outside, or how lucky I am to live in a place where I can take long walks amidst trees and sunshine, or even have the precious time to be able to walk at all!

This couple, innocently taking their time to enjoy their breakfast (and each other--did I mention that he took some vitamins out of his pocket and offered one to her--isn't that adorable?) while the world whizzed around them, inspired me to begin writing anew. To take my time and enjoy the moment, as I am now, and do what I love to do. Just me and my lap top.

Outside the wind is kicking up. I love the sound the wind makes as it tosses the leaves to and fro. My window jostles a little, too. In the distance, a train passes by, blows its horn. My son, back home from college, is asleep in his newly-decorated man cave. My daughter is at school. A few stuffed animals are strewn on my bed. The laundry needs to be done, I need to return movies to Blockbuster, fill up the gas tank, pick up something for dinner, etc... My hair is a mess, as usual. Life is good in this itty bitty moment.

Enjoy your day!

The Royal Wedding

This is going to be a VERY brief blog, but I couldn't help but comment on the Royal Wedding -- considering my blog is about women and their castles!

Wasn't the wedding magnificent? Splendid, enchanting, gorgeous, sumptuous, etc.? I even loved the trees lining Westminster Abbey. As one commentator said, the way the trees rose to the sky echoed the buttresses of the ancient building. Wow. And yes, I woke up at 1 am (even though I had to work that day) to see the big event. Watching on my flat screen TV, I felt as if I were there, minus the hat.

Princess Kate has won Prince William's heart, and I must admit, she's won over mine, as well. Independent, intelligent, beautiful, and so self-assured it is almost scary. I mean, the whole world has been watching her every move these past few months, and she hasn't made even one faux pas. She has been compared to Grace Kelly, that other commoner who married into royalty. Which makes me think that we are all capable of being princesses if we hold our posture erect, look great in photographs, and never curse or let our hair down in public!

One thing I just have to mention, though...I was watching a documentary about the wedding, and I was amazed to hear that many, many years ago, before Kate ever knew William, she had cut out a picture of him and hung it on her wall. She was fascinated by him, and wanted to meet him. This is the ULTIMATE vision board!!! (Remember I blogged about vision boards in January?) So how many of you are now furiously flipping through magazines hunting for future kings of England???

Unfortunately, I have many things to do in my teeny weeny castle right now -- including clean the unroyal bathrooms and fold the servant's laundry. I will write more later on the royal couple who are practically perfect. I mean I could go on for days about The Dress!

(By the way, after I clean said bathrooms, I am going to prepare myself a spot of tea!)

Elizabeth Taylor

Glamorous Elizabeth Taylor recently passed away at 79 years old. She has been hailed as the last great movie star...also, she has been known as a humanitarian and a champion for AIDS research. According to many accounts, she was the type of person who stood by her friends no matter what. Surprise, surprise, she was also a mom to four children (two boys and two girls)! She also converted to Judaism in 1959. Oh yeah!

Elizabeth Taylor was known and appreciated for her breathtaking beauty and acting talent. She won two Oscars. I will never forget her in A Place in the Sun with co-star Montgomery Clift. What a pair! It is part love story, part murder mystery, part American classic. She exuded a dangerous sexuality even at the ripe age of 17 years old! I read once that Clift and Taylor fell in a platonic sort of love during that movie. Clift, who was bisexual, had conflicting feelings about men and women. Though they were never lovers, they remained close friends for life.

My daughter is a big fan of Elizabeth in National Velvet. Throughout the movie, Elizabeth plays Velvet Brown, a young girl who believes in the ability of her horse "Pie" so much, she disguises herself and pretends to be a (male!) jockey to ride in the "Nationals". I swear that in almost every scene, a 12 year old Elizabeth has tears in her eyes. She is so full of love and passion for her horse that it is contagious. I won't tell my daughter, however, that after the film was completed, Elizabeth was given "The Pie" as a birthday present. That is since my daughter is campaigning for a horse of her own...

Elizabeth was known for her passions...food and men being among the top two! (And who can blame her?) She married eight times, and twice to actor Richard Burton. Burton called her "an erotic legend...whose breasts would topple empires." Awesome! She loved diamonds and red lipstick. I once read that her favorite roses were lavender ones, because they matched her famous violet eyes. (Since my eyes are brown, I am thinking that the only flower that would match mine would be a dead one! Okay, so chocolate would match my eyes...that is an even trade!)

She even created her own perfume, "White Diamonds." I couldn't help but sample some of White Diamonds recently when I was at the perfume counter. The perfume starts strong and almost takes your breath away. After a bit, though, it softens and smells paradoxically clean and luscious. My curiosity piqued, I went online to see what other women thought about White Diamonds, and most were very positive about it -- often receiving compliments from men and women. Sold on the scent, I went back and bought a small bottle of the eau de toilette. I must admit that I have not been disappointed with it. In fact, I love it! It is a little old fashioned, but brazen, soft and sensuous. I think it is also fun channeling Elizabeth into my own life in a small way.

Talent, beauty, perfume, and a lust for life aside, people love Elizabeth Taylor (and all of the GREAT movie stars for that matter) because of their larger than life quality. Metaphorically speaking, movie stars embody the hero's -- ahem, heroine's --journey for truth, happiness and beauty. There is no doubt that Elizabeth led the life of a goddess. But she was human, too. A great-grandma, even! In the end, like any mortal, she was scared. Her friend, Debbie Reynolds (who forgave Elizabeth for stealing Reynold's husband away from her!) said Elizabeth "expressed how scary it was, when you can see that it's perhaps the end, to find a way to leave this world and go on to the next." In fact, Elizabeth had her bedroom redecorated recently, hoping that she would not succumb and would return home.

When she died, she was neither a glamorous movie star nor a goddess. She was surrounded by her children. She was a mom. Alright, then, a very, very famous mom.