Mother's Day is almost here! I don't know about you, but MD is my absolute favorite holiday, because it is the ONE day in the year I tell my family, "I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING!!! NO COOKING, NO CLEANING, NO LAUNDRY, NO DRIVING HERE AND THERE..." Motherhood is so filled with "stuff" it is hard to describe all that being a mommy encompasses.
The other day I was at the doctor's office and all around me were pregnant women in all their big belly glory. Been there and done that...but I know the excitement, anticipation, and worries that go along with being a new mama. You can always tell the difference between a mom who is having her "first" and a mom who is on her second, or third, or (as is typical in Santa Clarita) her fourth. A first time mom has planned her nursery to every last detail. A mom who is on her second child is just rewashing all the already worn clothes.
Nothing gets women gabbing more than retelling their birth stories. "How long was your labor?" "Mine was so fast, we almost didn't make it to the hospital!" "It was too late for the epidural...(ouch!)" The variations of the magic moment go on into infinity.
Okay, so here are condensed versions of my two stories. My son was born when I was 31years young. Easy pregnancy, difficult birth. He was two weeks late, and when the doctor said "I think your baby is going to be over nine pounds," I almost had a heart attack. My labor was induced, and my baby boy (I didn't know the sex -- wanted my first to be a surprise) was born a day and a half (!) later at 5:30 pm after an emergency C-section. I have always teased my son that he was too comfortable, and didn't want to come out; to this day, in fact, he is a late sleeper, and needs a nudge to get up in the morning! But oh, when I heard his little cry, and got to hold my first born in my shaky arms, now THAT was a thrill beyond compare! (Never mind that his tiny head was a little pointy and one of his eyes was swollen from trying to get out of his cramped quarters all that time!)
My daughter's birth twelve years later was another story entirely. As an older, remarried mom, I had had two miscarriages prior to my daughter's pregnancy. The first miscarriage was shortly after my mother passed away, and the second miscarriage was during my second trimester. For almost two months after the last miscarriage, I was a basket case. I have always prided myself on my strong constitution and demeanor, but suddenly, I couldn't stop crying. My heart had turned into jello. I almost gave up, but decided to try "one more time" to have a baby. So when the ultrasounds all came back showing a health baby girl (then I wanted to know the sex) I was at once ecstatic and terrified.
I think nothing brings with it that odd mix of joy and fear as does being a parent!
Fortunately, the pregnancy went well. When my very healthy daughter was born during a planned C-section at 8:00 am, I looked over and saw the most beautiful girl in the world. I distinctly remember thinking, "All the suffering was worth it." We bonded immediately, total mutual adoration. Even the nurses commented that we were like "two peas in a pod." Funny, too, unlike my son, she has remained an early riser (a little chocolate milk in the morning helps, too).
Whenever I talk with a woman who is pregnant with her first baby, I always reassure her that a healthy baby is what is most important. Don't worry about having a "perfect" birth or breastfeeding "perfectly." Certainly, a baby born the natural way is preferred, but if a C-section is required, then it is what it is. When it comes to breast feeding, I am also a pragmatist. My son HATED breast feeding, (we're talking major red-in-the face screaming action, here) and I was in so much pain after the surgery, I decided to give him the bottle, which he LOVED. He is a healthy 18 year old! My daughter breast fed for a few weeks, but for medical reasons I had to put her on the bottle, also. Now she is a healthy six year old. I say it is good to have intentions and plans, but parenthood is all about being flexible when you have to!
Just as babies are universally adorable, so are baby animals. Just the other day I was coming out of a local Corner Bakery. Right by the water fountain, was a mama duck and her two sweet ducklings. I stopped to watch them waddle around -- so cute! A young teenage girl with crazy-colored hair also stopped, as did an older, very well dressed businessman obviously on his way to work. The three of us, from different ages, backgrounds, etc., could not resist the site of a mother and her babies.
Also of note, on the big Kohl's sign on McBean Blvd. there is a nest over the "h." My daughter first noticed it, and a few times when I have passed by, I have seen big, black crows tidying up their house of twigs. Are they getting ready for the hatching of babies? Or are they straightening up for a worm dinner party? Not sure either way...
A few weeks ago my son, now six feet tall and around 180 pounds, wasn't feeling well for a few days. He rarely gets sick or complains, so when he tells me something is wrong, I take it seriously. I took him to the doctor (just a stubborn virus, it turns out) and later that day he thanked me for taking care of him. I said to him, just as I will say to my daughter when she grows up, "No matter how big you get, you'll always be my baby."
Chores aside, being a mama is all about expressing that bottomless pit reservoir of love for our offspring -- and it is the best job ever!
Happy Mother's Day!
